After a solid hour and a half of writing, I am feeling somewhat satisfied. This is due to the fact that I am feeling incredibly introspective tonight. I have engaged in mind alteration this evening, primarily through Maker’s Mark bourbon and Seagram’s Ginger Ale. These concoctions have fueled my pomodoros tonight…for your reading pleasure and the maintenance of my own sanity. At any rate, after this pomodoro, I will spend a bit of time reading before I pass out for the evening.
I feel satisfied in that I will have spent two hours reflecting and thinking about a number of different things. In my opinion, it is important to spend time doing this. Many of us (including myself) are guilty of submitting to some sort of distraction to get our minds off of reality.
Whether it’s the television, exercise, alcohol, dependency on pharmaceutical, synthetic and/or any other drugs, music or really anything. An abundance of any one thing and the manner in which it is used, can negatively impact your views on what is really taking place in life. Reality hits you hard, bro.
Taking time to reflect on life and look at it as it comes is difficult. I have taken the time to do this tonight. I ultimately realized that although I have had correspondence with a person (who I’d been intimate with on many levels in my past) lately, it needs to remain simply as that…”correspondence.” I am many miles away from this person and we are both living our own lives.
This correspondence may have gotten me thinking about many things, but thinking about and/or projecting the future with another person is not fair, kind of weird and simply a negative pattern of behavior to engage in. I believe reflection like this allows us to realize when we are engaging in behavior that is not healthy, positive and beneficial. This type of behavior has led me to feeling frustrated, sad and often times in tears.
Today was no different. Regardless of the reason, there have been times you shed tears on account of the creation of a false reality including another person from your past. When the facts strike us in the face, it can be very challenging to accept. Unless we face the reality that we are creating and contributing to…this realization can bring us down quickly. It is important to recognize it and act accordingly. Tonight the therapy was to spend a few hours writing about it over a few bourbon drinks.
It was good therapy and hopefully you found it of some amusement. If you’re a complete lunatic you relate and were somehow inspired or moved by these words. If I don’t know you, I’d like to hear from you. Chances are I’ve already met you and you know who you are. At any rate, I suspect the pomodoro is coming up any minute now…yet I refuse to look at the timer. I couldn’t resist – I have four minutes left.
Feeling tired and mentally exhausted, I’m going to grab a quick snack and then hit the sack for a nine mile run tomorrow morning. Luckily I called my running partner – she was willing to run a couple hours later than expected due to my desire to have a few bourbon drinks and spill my guts through a crappy blog that only the lunatic fringe would waste their time reading. Welcome aboard. You are not alone. You are the resistance.