As I sit down to write this, I can only think of a line that my father used to say:
“Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do before you do what you wanna do. ”
I believe that my father used to say this…either him or someone else in my family. And the saying was something similar to that. My memory is often mediocre, at best, but for the sake of telling a good story or writing a trashy blog post, I suppose I often just “wing it” when it comes to pulling somewhat irrelevant facts such as this out of the storage of the gray matter. Over time, these half-truths become my own reality. This is something that we all do, I believe – it’s just that I’m bold (read: stupid) enough to waste my time writing about it.
Tonight, I really lacked motivation when it came to writing. I’m tired. However, this blog is something that I’m trying “do” and in order to “do” certain things and achieve certain goals, sometimes “you gotta do what you gotta do before you do what you wanna do.” What I wanna do is lose myself in one of the books that I am reading before drifting off to sleep. In addition to running about 4 miles tonight in my Bedrock Sandals, I just got back from a 4 day/3 night backpacking trip throughout Redwood National and State Parks
Do you hear that?
That is the worlds smallest violin playing a sad tune for me as I whine about being tired. The reality is that I just spent a long Memorial Day weekend backpacking in one of the most beautiful places in the entire world. I traveled there with a good friend and spent the final day of the trip hiking with a nice guy that we met the night before and then gave a ride to. It was wonderful. Finally, upon returning home at ~8am, after a 14 hour road trip, I spent the day with a girl I’m falling in love with.
It’s as simple as that. Life is really good right now, but I’m tired and don’t want to write.
So, I’m tired. After unexpectedly being offered a project coordinator position in Texas while dropping by the office, I talked to Mandi again today. It’s crazy, we’ve been talking for a couple months now and have spent time together on “dates” on several occasions. I believe I’m falling in love with her. This is worth pointing out because it’s occupying a large part of my mind and thought processes over the past month or so and may provide some insight into my scattered thoughts here within my words. However, this doesn’t change the fact that I’m tired.
While out running tonight, I was all stoked to write and had prepared to sit down and craft some mind-blowing piece about how barefoot running was symbolic to my approach to life…but now that I’m front of the keyboard I’m lacking the motivation that I thought I had. It’s been over a week since I last wrote and believe that if I want this blog/website idea to be successful, I’m going to have to put in the work in order to make that happen.
At any rate, my pomodoro timer just went off and I’m actually a little grateful…more to come later when I’m less tired and more motivated. Perhaps I’ll expand upon where I’m at in each of my “life projects” next time I sit down to spew this trash.