Inspiration, move me brightly… (to be continued)

Punching fear in the face…

STARTing things…

How’s everything coming along with all of this?

Shit.

How’s that for an answer?  I don’t know.  I got off to a good START with this thing but slowly fizzled out this week.  Not that my goal for The Start Experiment is anything substantial or lofty, it really isn’t much of anything at all.  It’s something that I was already working on.  Well, the reality is that my goal/risk was something that I was planning on.  I intended to do it.

*sigh*

I intend to do a lot of different things in life.  Most of them haven’t happened.  I’m a dreamer…a hopeless romantic.  I’m in my mid-30’s and frequently feel like I don’t have any idea what I’m going to do with my life.  Oh…you’re there also?  

I intended to do a lot as part of The Start Experiment – but not much has happened.  I suppose the reality is that I knew this as we all began this journey on Day 1.  I was in the process of moving.  I was in the process of transitioning into a new job.  All of this is because I am actively working on making major life changes to the manner in which I live my life.  I am trying to be the change that I wish to see in the world.  I’m simply doing all I know how to do because that’s all I can do.

Right now…I’ve typed out a couple of sentences, hit backspace repeatedly and then started over.  At times, it’s frustrating being a writer.  Hell, I suppose I try to be a writer.  I really don’t consider myself a “real” writer.  I’m not even sure I know what that means.  I know people read this crap and I’ve even had a few people tell me I should write a book.  This is actually one of the things that I aspire to do…but haven’t actually taken steps in order to do so.  This writing business isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do.  I mean…I actually have things to do today!

At any rate…with the packing and moving and job change and roommates wanting to spend time with me before I move out and everything else going on, I sometimes feel overwhelmed.  It seems like each time I feel overwhelmed, I encounter someone in life with problems that really put my own into perspective.  Life has a way of teaching us lessons.  When we take time to reflect and observe…we learn.  I’m learning some incredible lessons about humility.

Over the past 12 days, I have taken part in The Start Experiment.  I have networked with people and taken some steps to learn more about several individuals and the lives that they lead.  I am beyond inspired by many of these people.  I hope that some of these people have taken the time to read this shitty blog of mine.  If you have, I thank you.  You are likely one of the people that I find incredibly inspiring.  You are amazing.  Keep doing what you are doing.  You are awesome.

This past week, I have been feeling some stresses based on my own set of circumstances.  Moreover, I have let these stresses control and paralyze me.  As I previously mentioned, some of the people that I have met over the past 12 days are beyond inspiring.  I write this because as I corresponded with one of these individuals in particular and was essentially bitching about my stress, I ended up learning about their stress.  I got some insight into their life.  

It made me feel like a shell of a man because the more I learned, the more I realized how much I take for granted.  As I write these words, this realization hits me so hard again that I find myself weeping and overcome by emotion.  I have so many blessings in life.  There are so many people in life who are so much more deserving of the blessings that I take for granted.  I’ll be thinking of this throughout the day as I spend it packing and moving and preparing for the next few months.

Pomodoro up.

Stay tuned.

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