Month: July 2021

by

Free Writing

20210719 Writing to Get My Mind off Stress

Here we are…it’s 7:10pm. 

I decided to forego my original plans of bookkeeping and paying bills.

Instead, I just cracked open the third white claw of the evening as I sit on the barn porch, smoking a Vanilla Cheyenne Little Cigar after a nice steak dinner (with ~1.25 servings Cannabutter).

This afternoon, I had a long conversation with a coworker.

We must have talked for damn near an hour.

The conversation was revealing to say the least.

I processed it for the remainder of the afternoon and decided to change my evening plans.

A quick stop at “the circle” (on the roundabout in Litchfield) and a 12 pack of White Claw Seltzers seemed like a perfect attempt at an attitude adjustment after this dialogue.

In one of the many Telegram groups that I am involved in, I stumbled across this:

As I write these words, I am listening to this podcast…and to be clear, I’ve listened to one hour and two minutes of this particular episode, and am listening as I continue to write.

The act of writing, along with a few drinks (the White Claw since I’m trying to eat keto) and listening to a podcast is a great way to unwind and decompress from a stressful day.

As I previously wrote, the conversation with my coworker earlier this afternoon was revealing to say the least.  It was also *supremely* disappointing as well…since it not only validated some of the feelings that I’d been having over the past 12-18 months – but I learned even more information that makes me feel uncomfortable about the place I recently began referring to as “the day job.” 

I began referring it to as such because I’ve lost the passion I once had when I began working there 7 years ago.  My coworker made a joke about the “seven-year itch” and a previous dialogue with my pastor brought up a story about his friend and seven-year cycles.

After that conversation with my pastor, I had also thought about my own life cycles and how they seemed to also correspond with the seven-year cycle.  This seems relevant to me as this is the seventh season I’ve worked at my current employer, experiencing the reality that I am.

All of this “free writing” has given me the peace of mind that I sought when I began writing thirty minutes ago.  While the details of the dialogue with my coworker are irrelevant because it not only reiterates, but enhances many of the ideas that I previously had…solidified them and even strengthened them so to speak…

I am confident in my plan of following the baby steps and reevaluating my life.

I am confident in my plan of reevaluating my life within the framework in the 48 Days Eagles community.

I am confident in assembling a plan and timeline for doing so by Thanksgiving 2021.

I am confident in sharing this with you and look forward to sharing progress updates as time goes on.

Thank you.